I was just watching some clips from the High School American Football film Friday Night Lights, and everyone in the comments was talking about how much they wish they could go back to those years. It seemed life changing. Grown men were explaining how the movie made them legit cry.
In my adolescence, I just wanted to be worthless and play videogames. (I was very depressed.) So sports was of very little interest to be, aside from a recreational pass time with some bros. I was a fairly naturally inclined athlete, especially relative my physical fitness.
My dad always told me how much I would regret not playing hockey or football and stuff. He turned out to be right. I wish he just forced me into it as a kid, but he always gave me the choice. Oh well, i dont blame him so much.
I feel like as a man a piece of me is missing, I never got the camaraderie or that feeling of glory in my life that comes with competitive sports with a team. I have no medals to show for, or no fond of memories of close passionate games, or no group of men who i conquered with.
Im 25 now, and it still bothers the shit out of me.
I am physical now though, I lift weights and try to push the numbers in the gym. Getting good results, but even when i hit a 500lb squat.. i just dont think it could compare to the feeling of going at it hard as fuck with your boys in the last quarter giving it all you got. Idk, am i being too sentimental?
(Not interested in joining adult male sports, 1: it’s very injury prone, especially in conjunction with my training program. 2: It would have to be recreational, because obviously im not good enough to play high level, which is where the passion would be. I dont think it’s worth it. Am i wrong? )
TLDR: I feel like crap I never played sport in my adolescence, dad said i’d regret it and he was right. Any ideas how I can psychologically overcome this deep seeded regret?
I mean, high school sports can be a good and fun experience… but most people don’t give a fuck about it after high school, and those “grown men crying about how great those glory days were” are pretty pathetic. If that was the best thing someone ever did with their life, they didn’t have a great life. 5, 10, 20 years later, do you really think anyone cares who won the big game that one year back in high school, or that someone used to be one of the best athletes at some high school you’ve never heard of? As for the camaraderie, that’s often overblown quite a bit. I played high school sports and my teammates definitely weren’t my closest friends even then.
What I’m saying is, it really doesn’t make a big difference on your life, or it shouldn’t. Everyone regrets things they did or didn’t do in high school.
You didn’t miss much. Yeah there were fun times, but there was a lot of shit with it too. Most of the memories of actual games blended together for me. Sure there are some moments I remember quite well, but a lot of the better things were just the stupidity of hanging around with friends during downtime, which is just normal shooting the shit now.
Realize you avoided the worst of the injuries. A few of the guys I know who played are feeling the effects of injuries years later. Multiple ACL tears, concussions, stiffness etc. A very real part of me regrets playing contact sports in highschool, especially since there was no intention (or enough skill) to make $$$ off it.
Play rec sports if you have problems then. Just be aware for contact hockey leagues that some guys in beer league might take it a little too seriously. Keep your head on a swivel and watch out for jackasses. I’ve seen fights breakout in rec non contact ball hockey because some guys don’t know how to draw the line.
Edit: As for injuries in rec leagues…that depends on how hard you play, the sport, position, and frankly a lot of luck. I’ve been highsticked in ball hockey like 5-10 times in the past 3 years, also have taken at least 2 slapshots to the face. I wear a full cage. My buddy wears nothing, hasn’t been touched once.
Those that played HS sports may look back at that time with rose colored glasses. That does play havoc with your body, my cousins husband is only his early 30’s and had to have surgery on both knees, he ruined them playing basket ball, and he never had a serious injury on the court. I’ve seen kids blow up thief knees and have to go through surgery and therapy to rehab the joint.
If you don’t want to play adult sports, maybe join lifting compentions or strongman games. Fly it solo and share the passion of your opponents.
If I saw grown adults crying for that reason, I’d have a struggle identifying with them. I also did not participate in competitive sports when I was younger, and neither did most of my friends. Mostly we hung out, played instruments, talked about music, talked about girls, talked about comedians, did drugs, and occasionally drank. Today I’m 48 making a good six figure income in very competitive IT sales, and whenever anyone wants to talk about “the game” and I just smile and let them talk. Music is still my thing. I don’t even watch sports.
Point being – don’t sell yourself short. You have experiences that other people don’t have, and you will find your tribe at some point. You have competed and won many times – with AI. Just be yourself and be happy the world is blessed with your presence.
Sometimes it feels a little repetitive, but I will never stop advising youngsters that life IS NOT SET IN STONE!!! Maybe you missed some shit. Until you’re dead, what’s stopping you?
Buy a bike or some running shoes. Ride, run. Set times. Set averages. Push yourself against yourself. More often than not, you are your own most formidable opponent.
Medals and trophies mean dick.
Maybe your dad had some insight; There are times and value in being part of a team. Start by making yourself eligible.
To reiterate; you are your own most formidable opponent.
Shit, just do something cool now.
Sign up for a marathon 6 months from now and start training.
Take up martial arts.
By a snowboard or a dirt bike or something find it local Facebook group for it.
Start doing CrossFit
There are like a million bad ass things you can do right now. Just get off your ass. The above-mentioned are all things I’ve done in the last 5 years, mind you I’m over 30, normal job, normal relationship, social life, etc. It’s fun to be a hero on the weekends.
If I saw grown adults crying for that reason, I’d have a struggle identifying with them. I also did not participate in competitive sports when I was younger, and neither did most of my friends. Mostly we hung out, played instruments, talked about music, talked about girls, talked about comedians, did drugs, and occasionally drank. Today I’m 48 making a good six figure income in very competitive IT sales, and whenever anyone wants to talk about “the game” and I just smile and let them talk. Music is still my thing. I don’t even watch sports.
Point being – don’t sell yourself short. You have experiences that other people don’t have, and you will find your tribe at some point. You have competed and won many times – with AI. Just be yourself and be happy the world is blessed with your presence.